The one fear you can use to face all others


“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world”

Mercedes Lackey

 

The Fear of RegretIs your anxiety stopping you doing the things you want to do?

Is your anxiety stopping you being the person you want to be?

Is your anxiety stopping you achieving the things you know you could?

Is your anxiety stopping you saying ‘yes’ to something new because of the way you think it will make you feel?

Every day anxious people across the world have the same choices as those without anxiety. The only difference is that most anxiety sufferers say ‘no’, take the easy option, the path of least resistance.

Do this over and over, day after day and what they are left with is a lifetime of missed opportunity.

If this sounds familiar, then this article is for you.

What makes you say ‘no’?

It boils down to one simple reason.

Fear.

I’m not talking about blood curdling, spine tingling, heart pounding fear.

I’m talking about your everyday anxiety which causes you to make decisions because of the fear of ‘what might be’.

Rather than saying ‘yes, what the hell’, you first response is always ‘no, I’d better not’.

It’s because you’ve learnt the habit of worry, where every decision you make which will mean leaving your comfort zone leads to hours of anxious negative thinking and the stress it puts upon you. 

The excuses given can number a thousand different things, but they always come back to just one.

The fear of failure.

The fear that you won’t be able to do what you set out to achieve, or that something will go wrong along the way. That you will be unable to cope.

Unlike the fear of panic, the fear of failure hides deep down in your gut, but you use it subconsciously in almost every decision you make.

It’s easier to never try, at least that way you’ll never feel like you failed.

Thankfully there’s a fear everyone has, a fear much more powerful than that of failure and it’s one you can use to drive and motivate you to start saying ‘yes’.

‘Yes, this is what I want and I’m going to go get it”!

The fear you must always keep

All fears are bad right?

Wrong.

Emotions are motivators, and the emotion of fear can be very useful in helping you beat your anxiety and panic.

Those who suffer with extreme anxiety end up doing less and less, they become withdrawn from the world and isolated from the people in it.

They become a hermit, a recluse and those dreams they had when they were young quickly fade and die.

You must not let this happen to you, and if you feel it already has, you must take the steps to change it. 

For many, the fear of failure is very strong, yet everyday we hear about people achieving new amazing things.

A young entrepreneur makes their first million, a scientist discovers a new cure, an athlete breaks a world record, or a cancer patient completes a marathon.

So what is it these people have, that many and especially anxiety sufferers, do not?

The truth is they have nothing different, nothing special inside them more than anyone else. What they have done is simple, they have used their biggest fear to drive and motivate them to face all of their other fears combined.

What is that fear you ask?

That’s simple, you already know it.

The fear of regret

The fear that once you know you are not long for this world you will look back and regret all the things you did not do.

Anxiety and regret

If you answered yes to some or all of the questions at the beginning of this post, then it is very likely that you will look back with regret.

It is also likely you already know this, the fear is there, but you are not using it as the biggest motivator you could ever need to make the changes you require.

It is my biggest motivator every single day, it’s the reason I’ve got to where I have, it’s the reason I started this blog and it’s the reason I will continue on this path.

Now it’s time for you to use this fear for the positive changes you desire.

The fear that otherwise you will look back on your life saddened by the fact you let your anxiety and panic stop you doing what you wanted.

The fear that otherwise you will miss out on so much and will eventually no longer have the time left to change it.

The fear that otherwise your life will be defined by your anxiety and not who you really are, who you know you can be.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

But it will be unless YOU make it.

No one else can give you that desire, that motivation, to act in spite of the way you feel.

To stand up and shout:

My anxiety and panic will not stop me doing what I want and being who I can be!

That you will not let life pass you by because you always took the safe option, the coping technique, the easy way out.

The time is now

No matter where you are at in your life, the time to start is NOW.

Stop being a Next Week Nelly and start being a Right Now Ray.

Don’t believe that ‘you’ll just grow out of it’ or that something else will happen in your life to make the change for you.

It can’t.

It won’t.

The only thing which can make that change is you, and if you keep putting it off you’ll get to the point where you never will.

Then you really will have that one regret that no one wants.

The important thing to remember is this:

You MUST fail over and over again. If you never fail you’ve never tried and no person has ever got what they wanted without failure.

Use your fear of regret to stoke that fire inside of you, to start making those changes today and for every day you have.

Find out what you want from life and use it to drive you forward, but remember to understand where you’re starting from and the journey required to get to where you want to be.

Make that change in your mindset first by using your fear of regret as your biggest motivator to drive you forward and as your weapon for success.

Most importantly, start today, because every time you leave it until tomorrow, you take a step closer to it becoming too late.

 

Hugo Rock

 


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