“When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it”
David S Schwartz
In my recent article, The Calm and Courageous Manifesto I set out what this site is all about and what it can do to help you recover from anxiety and to stop having panic attacks.
Specifically, the key points which I aim to address which will make the difference in you feeling well again.
Point number one on the list was as follows:
- Help you get your mindset right – to believe in your recovery and that you have what it takes
It was first in the list for one reason, and that reason is this:
If you don’t believe you can recover, then in all likelihood, you won’t.
How do I know this is true?
- I only began to feel better when I trusted in my recovery and believed if I kept doing the right things that I would recover
- Anxiety follows a very simple rule as noted by Napoleon Hill, “You become what you think about”
If you believe you can recover, or you don’t, then you are right either way.
This is why, as with so many aspects of anxiety, your mindset is key.
The mindset of an anxiety sufferer
Anxiety by its nature is all about worry.
So what else could you worry more about, than the fact you feel you will always have your anxiety?
It’s a thought I expect the majority of people have had who have lived with anxiety for more than a year or two.
Eventually followed by a resignation that they will have to live out the rest of their lives just trying to cope with the way they feel, both mentally and physically.
The longer you live with anxiety, the more you believe it to be true.
This then leads to the avoidance approach, where you do what you can to manage your anxiety by staying clear of anything you deem to be a trigger.
This mindset can only lead to one way of thinking:
“I’m stuck with my anxiety and I don’t feel there is anything I can do”
So of course, using Napoleon Hill’s rule, this is exactly what happens.
Your anxiety remains and you give up believing you have it within you to feel well again.
You may still have that desire inside you to beat it, but if deep down, you do not believe it is possible, then it is of very little help.
You must believe
You can choose to believe you will recover, or you can choose to believe you won’t.
You can also switch between the two, depending on how you feel that day.
But if you are to recover, you must believe you will, no matter how you are feeling.
Likewise, you can choose to trust in the process required to recover, or you can feel that nothing you do will help.
Trusting in the process is made much easier when you accept two things:
- You will have set backs, bad days and moments, but you understand these are part of the recovery process
- It will take time, longer than you want it to, but this still beats remaining as you are indefinitely
It’s this change in attitude and altering of your approach which will enable you to be well again.
Don’t hope for it, hope will get you nowhere.
You must believe it. Totally and utterly, 100 percent.
“B…b…b…but, I don’t think I can do that”.
Yes, you can!
I did it and I used to feel I would have to put up with always feeling anxious until the day I died.
But instead, I changed my mindset and my mindset changed me. It enabled me to believe and to trust in myself.
Otherwise I would have started Stressed & Scared and blogged about how bad I feel, that I’m stuck this way and life is just so unfair.
But I can’t imagine many people wanting to read that.
You want to hear about recovery, how it can be done and how you can do the same. That’s why you’re here.
You want more out of life and you want to do it without anxiety hanging over your head.
This is why I started Calm and Courageous, the website for anxiety and panic recovery.
Feeling better starts when you believe you can recover and trust that you will.
It is this mindset you have to get right first. No ifs, no buts and no more excuses.
Let that inner lion inside you out, let it roar towards the sky that you know you will be ok, that you have it within yourself.
Just don’t make the mistake of trying to put a time frame upon it, it doesn’t work that way.
Instead, simply understand that when you really believe, your mind will find the way to make it happen.
Stop sabotaging your recovery
You must also learn to conquer the fear of feeling well again.
That sounds crazy, right? How can you be afraid to feel well again?
Well I promise you that you can.
You’re worried that no matter what you do, it just won’t work. It’s easier not to try, than to try, fail and end up back at square one again.
You’d rather just try and manage your anxiety because you feel it’s the safer thing to do.
And do you know what doing this is called?
It’s called self-sabotage. You are resisting what you really want because you’re afraid it might not happen.
That my friend, is just more avoidance crap.
It’s not the absence of fear which will enable you to believe it, it’s believing it in spite of fear.
It’s about you having the courage to let go of your anxiety and not allowing your fears to control you.
An unbreakable belief combined with an iron will is more powerful than a thousand hours of therapy and research.
Help and advice is irrelevant if you do not first believe that your recovery is possible.
A little help to get you started
Now there is some good news.
No matter where you are with your anxiety right now, or how long you have thought you will always be this way, it is never too late.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, dust yourself down and say these words:
I will beat my anxiety, I have what it takes and I know I will feel well again
Then say it again………and again……..and again. Keep repeating it everyday until it becomes your automatic way of thinking and don’t let it stop the moment you have a set back.
Once you’ve made this change in your mindset the only thing you will regret is the fact you didn’t do it sooner.
Now remember, you don’t have to see and feel it right away, you just have to believe your recovery will come.
This is because you can’t forcefully make your recovery happen, it has to come to you. Your anxiety will try and stop this, it will try and stop you doing the things you need to do.
So if you’re feeling this is all a little too much right now, then I’d advise looking for some inspiration, something to kick start that self-belief.
Inspiration can come from a variety of sources, but here are a few to get you going:
- Someone who has recovered from anxiety and can prove to you it can be done
- Someone who has overcome great adversity to get to where they are, they believed in themselves and what they had to do
- Successful people in what ever field or discipline who did not take no for an answer, they never gave in
Seeing what others have achieved can be very helpful in finding that belief.
They may seem like someone exceptional, but the truth is, they did nothing you could not do. What got them started was that they believed.
It’s played a major part in my recovery, and if I can do it, so can you.
You can recover.
You can feel well again.
You can stand there twenty years from now and look back on all the things you have achieved knowing you were able to because you became anxiety free.
I very much hope you do.
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